I will wait his confirmation and promise to me…

26th of September 2008, our 3rd time going out. Today the part that I most touch is when he said and asked me: ’I like you, can you be my girlfriend?’. Of course Im his gf since 14th of September, just he wana asked me the question that he didnt ask. Because that day he straight away hold my hand. I didnt answer his question immediately. I was so shy and speechless but at the same time I felt extremely HAPPY! Besides, he also talk about how good I am! That time I felt so sweet because there is no boy praise me such good and sweet before.

So, I planned to give him my ans. I need a quiet place to say out the answer so I decided to choose beach. But because of some incident, we didnt go. I had to change my plan. After we finished our journey. He accompanied me back to my apartment. When we arrived, I tell myself to be brave. So I hug him and said:’I willing to be his gf!’. I really cant believe myself that I will said somethings so sweet.

When I really like someone, I will put 100% feeling on him and will want to be with him all the time. I wont change my mind and this is my promise to him except he disappointed me. He said before that he cant 100% confirm he will love me forever because he scared he will hurt me if he cant make it, he said we have to understand each other more deeply then only he can confirm that Im the girl that he want to find all this time. I felt a bit down. Because I cant afford to take another hurt and I do not want to take another risk anymore. What I need is a bf that can let me feel ’safe’. But actually I know he is a guy that serious in love relationship and he do not to hurt me so he said to me honestly. So I will wait his confirmation and promise to me then only I put my 100% feeling on him…

Feel like in a dream…

17th September 2007,today was the second time we go out. Since last week I had been waiting for today to arrive. He know I not so like gurney so he planned want to bring me to queensbay to watch movie. But, I still choose to go gurney because since he cares what I like and don’t so I do not want to waste his petrol…

Before we went to the cinema, we went for a walk to wait the movie time. Actually I keep asking in my heart, in his heart who am I? Girlfriend or girl’s friend? Because he never say he love me and ask me to accept him. He just straight away hold my hand on the first day we go out. Finally I got the answer! He met his secondary friend while we were walking around. His friend asked: Isn’t she your girlfriend?’ Then he answered: ‘Yes.She is my girlfriend.’

When the movie time had arrived we went to the cinema.In the cinema, I was freezing inside. When he knew that,he hugged me! He try his best to make me feel warm. That time, I felt warm. I enjoy in his hug so do not concentrate much on the movie. After the movie, we decided to drive around penang. He knew I like to eat A&W so he bring me to the tesco extra because the internet state that there is a A&W restaurant inside the tesco extra.But, when we arrived there, there no A&W. I was so disappointed! Then, he asked me whether like to drink Root Beer plus Vanilla Ice Cream or not. I said I like. So he decided to buy a root beer and vanilla ice cream for me to drink. That time I was like so touch! Since I born until now, there is no boy willing to do somethings to me. Then, we bought pop corn to get the spoon and drink for the cup. After we had all the items, we went back to the car and started to make ‘ Vanilla Ice Cream Root Beer’. Finally we successed! We drank it happily!^^ After that, he brought me around his college and some places in Penang.

Around 6.30pm, we go for dinner. While waiting for the food,we have a chat. Finally the food arrived. The sweet moment was when he feed me and I feed him! I love this kind of sweetness!
Last time, I do not like to go for karaeok because my voice was not good. But today, I suggest to go for Redbox because I know he like to sing and actually I had prepared a song to sing to him.While we inside the rooms, of course I let him chose his song 1st only I chose. His voice is so good! Suddenly, he chose a song that want to sing to me ‘ 世界唯一的你’. The lyrics was so touch until it really touch my heart. I lay on him and almost want to cry! Then I also sang the song that prepared to him ‘都是你’.

11.30pm, was time to go home. Time really past so fast. He brang me and accompany until the door of my house. Until now I still don’t believe that I had a boyfriend that I can feel that he really care about me!!!To me, today really feel like a the dream...

The feeling that I lost now is coming back…

14 September 2008, everyone was celebrating ‘Middle Autumn Day’. People who have couple definitely will go out see the moon and walk around in such romantic day. Single people like me, what to do? Sure celebrate my ownself.

But, suddenly a msg come. A guy sms me said that:‘Tonight want to go out?‘. I was like jump for joy because this is the first time a guy call me out! And the guy also Im have feeling on him. Then we promise to meet at 8pm and he come and fetch. After we ended our conversation, I started to nervous. I opened my closet and chose which cloth to wear tonight. It was headache!
After I reach Penang from hometown,Taiping, I faster finished up my housework then prepared to going out. I kept telling myself to calm down. I keep counted the time that 8pm going to arrive. Finally he arrived, my heart beating fast.

Firstly, he bring me for dinner. The place although is a cafe but it is romantic! The place is slightly dark and there is mini lantern in each table. What is so special about was the name of the cafe drink is special. Then, we ordered a large drink called 'Love' and we shared. I can felt that he tried to talk to me and do somethings to make me feel less nervous. I was like trying my best to calm down and think of topic to say.

After we had finished our dinner, we went to the beach to see the MOON. Along the road from the car to the beach, somethings happen. He hold my hand!!! I felt like myself get shocked. Then I decided to let my hand to him. This warm hand really make me feel safe and I know I didnt do the wrong decision. At the beach, we can’t really see clearly the moon but we had a good time by chating to know each other well. Actually, I was getting nervous and nervous so I just keep quiet and listen to what he said.

Around 10.25pm, he fetched me back. Along the journey, he sang songs for me! Maybe towards other people this is just a normal day for couple, but to me is meaningful because the feeling that I lost long time ago is coming back….